Choose love over fear – what I learnt from Melissa Ambrosini

A few weeks ago, I attended the Utopia Women’s Wellness event in Sydney, which is where I discovered Melissa Ambrosini. Melissa gave a presentation on ‘mastering your mean girl’, which is having a lasting effect on how I think about myself.

You can find a lot of great information on Melissa’s website, but I thought I’d summarise a little of what I learnt from her presentation.

Words of wisdom from Melissa Ambrosini


First of all, who is your mean girl?

Your mean girl is that voice in your head that tells you you’re not good enough. She’s the one that puts you down, the one that tells you you look fat in those clothes, that you can’t get that promotion, that no one likes you.


How do I know if it’s my mean girl talking to me?

Your mean girl comes from a place of fear, not a place of love. If it’s a negative thought, it’s probably your mean girl talking.


How do I get rid of her?

That’s a tough question, and a much more difficult thing to achieve. You probably won’t be able to get rid of your mean girl, so instead, Melissa Ambrosini advocates becoming friends with her.


So how can I learn to live with my mean girl?

The first step is simply awareness. Rather than just buying into what your mean girl tells you, and letting it ruin your day, start to identify which of your thoughts are ‘mean girl’ ones. Once you can identify them, then you can actively choose not to listen to your mean girl. Your mean girl is trying to make you fearful of living your best life. It’s never a good idea to base your decisions on fear, so choose love instead.

As Sheryl Sandberg asks, “what would you do if you weren’t afraid?” I think it’s our mean girls that are making us afraid. It’s an ongoing process, but I believe you can master your mean girl if you’re committed, and then the possibilities are endless.


How can I find out more?

Make sure you visit Melissa’s website. There’s so much in there! FYI, next on my reading list is this article on holistic health and beauty   – I’ve started slowly moving to organic skincare and makeup and any recommendations are always welcome! I’m also interested in reading Melissa’s 12 steps to wellness e-book.


Liked this post? Follow me on social media to make sure you never miss a post (links in right hand column). You can also sign up to my fortnightly email – just enter your email address below:


  1. Thank you so much for this post honey. I am so glad you like my talk.

    It’s all about becoming besties with your Mean Girl. We can all do it and we just have to start by being aware of her, then we can choose love instead.


  2. Love your posts Mel! Wish I could have joined you at Utopia! Sadly I was up the coast. Keep up the good work. xx

Leave a Reply